Ok, quick break from writing because I just realized that I don't actually know anything about the history of Petra aside from the Indiana Jones movie, so I'm going to take a quick Wikipedia break (not that anyone reading would have known, but honesty is the best policy).
....and we're back! Apparently, the carvings date back to around the 1st century BCE and, as I understand it, when it was declared a UNESCO world heritage site, none of the indigenous people (who had lived there for thousands of years) were allowed to live there anymore. Petra is now facing massive erosion problems as a result of the onslaught of tourists and their collective breaths and steps. I by no means remove myself from partial responsibility for the erosion of Petra as I definitely brought home at least a full statue's worth of dust in my hair and between my toes as evidenced by the disturbingly dark water that ran off of me during my first shower upon returning home.
Perhaps the darkness of the dust caught the afternoon sun in such a way that made me look darker. Perhaps (most likely) the boys on the donkeys thought that all brown people are approximately the same. Perhaps their use of the term 'rasta' over and over again was simply a term of endearment. I mean, I like Bob Marley -- maybe they did too. Maybe they thought I was Bob Marley. Maybe I /am/ Bob Marley. Shit, I think I'm really missing out on some sick royalties right now.
Anyway, many of the young men calling out to tourists in an attempt to get them to 'ride their donkeys' (hey, you there, stop giggling) called out to me, independent of one another, with either 'rasta' or 'rasta woman' or, la pièce de resistance, 'once you go black you never go back.' Now with this final one, I really have to wonder how the hell such a phrase made it down to Southern Jordan, no less to the mouth of a 14-year-old Bedouin who takes people for donkey rides for a living. I also have to wonder whether or not any of them realize what it is exactly that they are saying. Regardless, though, you have to give homeboy kudos for his English -- I can't even imagine trying to translate that into Arabic and definitely would not expect anyone to understand a word coming out of my mouth.
The most difficult part of this experience (and being called out to in general) is the lack of agency I possess as a woman. I am not culturally allowed to chase someone down and beat the shit out of them, as such an action is really just encouragement. Apparently, a useful resource for women (read: American women) are the Egyptian guards and police everywhere, but asking male police officers for help does nothing to replenish agency. Moreover, all of my favorite swear words are also rendered completely useless. Shitface, fucktard, asshole, pissbag, bitchballs, assmuncher, motherfucker....forgive the pun, but I can be quite colorful when I want to be. This was one of the many experiences that I have had that has taught me the power of language and the amount of power that is lost without it.
I will also mention that a number of people have commented on my skin color, commenting that I 'look Arab,' I assume meaning that I'm about the same shade, and have been very positive about it. My experience here, for better or for worse, has been that there is very little political correctness when it comes to talking about other races and cultures. I've heard about Jordanians of Palestinian heritage talking about Iraqis (often members of the poorer classes in Amman) as though they were the scum of the earth. I've heard Jordanians of Turkish descent talk about Palestinians in the same way. I've also heard of Jordanians of Jordanian descent talking about other Jordanians of Jordanian descent in ways that would make Faulkner blush. On the bright side, however narrow that side may be, this makes for much more productive discussions than with those who actively deny all of their prejudices.
love,
anneke
p.s. The title of this post is a direct quote from someone who I shall not name but who will hopefully one day understand (not through experience but through sympathy) how incredibly offensive such a comment is.
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